It is Joshua’s 18th birthday next Friday and we are all having trouble with getting him a present. An Ipod seemed like a good wheeze…but he doesn’t want one. A car is not the thing at the moment as he uses ours anyway and is going off on a gap year. A camera is a good present but he wants that for Christmas before the trip to Ecuador and he’d like a laptop but not until he is almost at university and that is the next birthday. So all the other present moments are sorted but this one is a real swine. Any ideas?

We have some primroses out in flower already, a few yellow crocuses have come out, the birds are singing…so presumably any moment now we will have a blizzard. My father was a fruit farmer and we always had these – the blossom is out all is well in the world – moments closely followed by a nasty frost and despair, anguish, we will starve, no crop this year etc. My mother once told me she believed all this baloney for years until she realised that there was an upside. If there were less apples, the ones that did appear were bigger and we never starved anyway.